My Most Recent Mistake

So the most recent gf (on and off; hot and cold; LDR) went bad. She bailed while I was out of the house on errands.

I went no contact.

2 emails; 3 texts. Ignored. I was blocked n Twatter (she likes to snoop now and mistakenly believes she’ll get some sort of insight and/or secret code to my operating system by reading my RP stuff).

Suddenly, I’m unblocked. Then she likes a couple of my replies. But ONE lit her up. Got simultaneous text and DM.

Someone Tweeted about the impossibility of unconditional love and that ‘she is constantly grooming and evaluating replacements for you’. My response was about my ‘repeated experience with the Rolodix’. Funny, right?

Her text and DM were ‘defenses’ that she wasn’t like that or that my words were about her. (extra hilarious since she had actually sent me a text about the 4 options she currently had; including pics. Yes, a dic pic, too!) It is literally impossible that in her little town she had been approached by 4 new guys in one week so ….

Anyway, here’s the mistake

I responded

All I said was that it wasn’t about her specifically as I had said ‘repeatedly’. No jabs; no pointing out her hypocrisy. All she said was “It’s my lucky day. I thought I’d lost you”

Conversation ensued. Complete with sexual innuendo; outright cravings and ‘visual allure’ so to speak. Plans made to get together physically. It was ON.

Within 24 hours the conversation slipped back into delays; doubts; restating past questions; defiance and arguments.

A friend refers to the end of a relationship as the Airing of Relationship Crimes. My no-contact had stifled her ability to do this. Although she had thrown a litany of crap my way, my lack of response left her empty.

“I want to feel superior; self-righteous; validated I made the right decision to end this; and take my anger on you out on you”

No contact breaks this cycle and causes doubt. Her airing of crimes prompts you to DEER (defend, explain, excuse and rationalize) your side of the relationship and/or her complaints/reasons.

SHE is rationalizing through he emotional filters. You HAVE to be the bad guy. HAVE TO. Otherwise it’s on her.

So now she’s been living rent-free in my head and burning up time with texts and calls that always go sideways.

Mid -conversation on DM I removed her from my Twitter.

A brief blast of me using head games and spite. Blocked. I made a decision I should have made earlier.

No-Contact works. For a reason.

Don’t make this mistake, gents